Not losing. . . Not gaining

Well, I have not lost anymore, but I have not gained. So, YEAH! I am still trying to stay focused. So, hopefully, I will start losing again. But my friend Julie asked me how much more weight I lost today, so that made me feel good. It would be nice if I could wake up and be 50lbs lighter. But I am trying to be patient. And I am glad that I haven't gained any back. At work, they blocked sparkpeople.com, so I have a hard time logging my food intact now. But I am not giving up!

When I am upset . . .

When I am upset I shut people out. Partly because I know my mouth gets out of control, but partly because I don't trust that people truly care to help.
When I was in highschool, I found out most of the girls that I considered "best/good" friends didn't like more for the first 2-3yrs we were friends. I was shocked that they faked a friendship w/me. So, I began to learn that not everyone is as upfront as I am (believe me I know that being upfront ALL the time is not the best way to win friends and influence people). So, my trust issues started early . . . tears please :).
Seriously, I don't hide my emotions at all (don't even try). And there may be times that I like to vent, but when I am truly upset I usually shut everyone out. And talk to myself. Usually in my head, but my oldest brother can attest to the fact that sometimes I talk to myself outloud. I like to work things out w/people in my head. Mostly, because in my head people respond in ways that I like better.
I think my biggest problem is that if I am upset enough for it to affect on how I view a person, then I can write people off. Not always the easiest thing in the work place. And since we already established that I don't hide my feelings, things can get sticky.
And that is a little writing prompt from a blog I like, to give you a little insite into my inner workings.

I miss my Arc Trainer!

I have joined a new gym and I miss my selection of cardio equipment. This new gym is really the local community center and is way cheaper and closer. But doesn't have a variety of cardio machines. It has treadmills, elliptical, stationary bikes, and stair climbing things (not like the normal stair machines). But I guess I have to suck it up, because $40/month is WAY better than the $139/month I was paying. Not all cardio equipment is created equal.

Update!

I have still yet to make any jewelry, but a girl at work noticed that I was losing weight! Yeah Me! And she had no idea that I was trying. I know sometimes, people feel obligated to say they can tell that your losing weight because they want to be supportive. And I appreciate their support. But sometimes, you do wonder if they are just lying. So, it was awesome to have someone who has no idea that I am trying to lose weight say "Hey Rachel are you losing weight?" And to top it all off, my clothes are getting looser. That's the biggest PLUS! So, I will keep trying to remain focused!

Mostly done!

Well, I got most of my list done. I haven't made the jewelry, but I am tired and need to go to sleep soon. And I weighted myself after the gym and had lost the 1lb I was worried about. So, it could just be water. But, I will try to remain focused.

2 1/2 things done!

I have almost completed 2 1/2 things on my things to do list. I am going to finish paying bills online and try to finish the rest of the list before the kids get home. Well, I have jewelry to make. That may have to wait until after bedtime.

Get up and Go!

I know that it has been awhile since my last post. I have been sloooow moving lately. I have been volunteering at the school's book fair and have no time. Sweeps week is NOT helping. I think I need a 25-26 hr day to get everything. done. Well, I am sure I could reorganize how I spend my time and get more done. I have only gotten 1 thing on my things to do list done this morning. And unfortunately, when I weighted myself this morning my lack of going to the gym showed. I gained 1 lb. But today that is going to change. I am going to the gym and get myself refocused. I think I have a lot of things to do and get overwhelmed. And then don't do the things I need to and then just get frustrated at myself. And I was getting up w/Lucas when I took him to school instead of sleeping (after working all night). I was CRABBY, but getting things done. But I pushed myself too hard. Because I have been EXHAUSTED. So, I am trying to find a balance. Tomorrow is the last day of the bookfair and my last 2hr shift. So, hopefully next week I will go to the gym every day again. But I am going right NOW!