Two steps forward and two steps back. . . .

I get so frustrated that I make progress for a few days and then revert right back to bad habits. And I have no one to blame but myself. I am trying to focus on small lifestyle changes-but then a busy schedule, work, or lack of good food choices at home are my excuses to fall of the bandwagon so to speak. With a new dog, I am doing better about exercising more regularly. But it is not to the intensity that I am used to. I really like the gym and w/o childcare cost this upcoming year (w/ all three boys in school all day), it is more affordable. But my consistency is seriously lacking-so do I want to spend money on something I may or may not use. I just wish I would be more consistent w/the positive changes and minimize my negatives.

Exercise, exercise, exercise

I spent the week at my mom's, and did LOTS of exercising. And my muscles were feeling it. Unfortunately, the scale was not. I am just trying to make choices that are good for my health and focus more on that then what the scale says. I work the next several nights, so I hope to keep up the exercising. I read a magazine that encouraged you to change 10%. Exercise 10% more, eat 10% more fruits/veggies, sleep 10% more, eat 10% less a day, and lose 10% of your weight. Considering I don't usually eat any fruit- I am going to try to eat 1 piece a day, but I think that puting the smaller goals out there is helpful and not so overwhelming. We got a puppy this week- who is a BUNDLE of energy. So, I will definately be exercising 10% more since I have to keep up with him.

Well . . . . .

I did really good exercising last week. My mom got a new wii game- get active and it kick my butt. It has a lot of preset work outs. With squats, and lunges. Some cardio and then . . . . you guessed it- more squats and lunges. And did I mention it had jumping squats and even more lunges. After 3 days in a row- my thighs were feeling the burn. So, I hope to continue this week, but maybe not with so many squats and lunges.

Great start to a new week.

I had a great start to the new week. The boys have been doing a great job helping around the house. Since, my house is on the market- the cleaning is more important than ever. So, I got the boys a new chore chart thingy- and they are doing a great job. That allowed me the time to work out this morning before church. I hope to be able to maintain that momentum. It is sometimes hard to balance doing fun things for summer and a normal exercise routine. I haven't been to the gym lately but it is hard to take all 3 since they don't allow kids under the age of 12 on the equip. Well, hopefully I can figure out something that works for the summer.

Fighting myself and losing.

With the start of summer, I have not done well with exercising and then in tow my eating. And even though I know I can do better, I can't always regain my focus. And its frustrating. I have gained and lost the same 2-3lbs for like 2 weeks now. I have worked a majority of last few days and it is hard getting used to the change. Flipping from days to nights and back again is difficult. And when I work some many days in a row, it is hard to motivate myself to exercise. Next 2 weeks I don't work as many days, so hopefully I can get on the right track. But I got to go exercise now.

Well . . . .

Well . . . . . I did a lot better yesterday UNTIL the boys and I went out to dinner to celebrate the last day of school. I suppose I could of done worse. I am updating my blogs while the boys are doing homework, then I am going to exercise and hopefully stay on track for the WHOLE day. Got lots planned for the day and better get on the stick!

Balance

Balance is a tricky thing to achieve. I have noticed more and more that I can't seem to find the right balance. IE the right amount of sleep, amount of exercise, and food. I don't have too much control on the sleep thing with working nights and all. But sometimes I can sleep but my mind will just not shut off. And there are times that I need to get stuff done but can't seem to get out of bed. I also will push myself exercising too hard and then not being able to walk the next day. I am getting too old ;). And I do the same thing with eating. Really watch myself and then I am STARVED! And it stinks. Because the only thing that is keeping me from my goals is myself. So, I am going to try to find some balance.

Wii fit

I have had my wii fit about 2 weeks now and I keep gaining and losing the same 2 lbs. It is so hard with my work schedule. I am glad that I haven't gained anymore weight, but am frustrated at the lack of progress. I hope to do a better job with my eating-which I think my work schedule asside- is the biggest problem. I have lots to do in the yard, but my allergies are really acting up- so I am trying to avoid the yardwork when I can. But that lawn just won't stop growing, and with all the rain- it's growing fast. I hope to be able to stay more focused on my portions and my food choices.

Just plain laziness!

The best of intentions are just not being enough these days. I am the queen of procrastination. I could blame it on the weather-raining and raining and RAINING! But quite frankly, I think I am just being lazy. I am doing better with my eating, so that is good, but I need to get on the stick with the exercising. And cleaning the house, and weeding, and mowing the lawn, and lots of things on my Things to Do List. I have great plans but horrible follow through lately. So, hopefully I can make some progress this weekend instead of putting things off.

Oh, well . . . .

Unfortunately, my busy schedule has interfered with my exercise routine. And my lack of will power has yet again sabotaged my diet. Hopefully, this little lesson has taught me to remain focused and more accountable. We will see. I hope tomorrow is a better day. But have a lot to do, so maybe not. But friday, I have no excuses. . . . Well, not yet anyway.

3.5miles today

Well, today I was on the elliptical for 3 1/2 miles. But this afternoon, my back is killing me. So, I must have pulled it sometime today. The boys and I pigged out on Easter candy yesterday. Which I know isn't good. But really peeps are just sugar, and I only had 1 Reese's eggs. Which are the best candy EVER! But my plan is to not pig out again. The boys are doing a good job of making a dent in the Easter candy. And they are doing a great job of reminding me to exercise. One day at a time.

How many miles can you go?

At the gym, they have a map of the US and they are challenging people to keep track of their miles-to see how where they could have walked/run/biked to. It is kinda fun. Thinking in a year you could have ran to New York. I think Oklahoma City is a more appropriate goal! LOL! Seriously, I am going to keep track, but I am trying to incorporate some of my home DVD's because they have strength training and aerobics together in 1 workout. I figure if I do them 2-3times a week that will help with building more lean muscle. I am still doing way better on my exercise than eating. And I am trying not to let my busy schedule negatively affect me. Well, I have laundry and baking to finish. So, I gotta run!

Why do I have to plateau?

I have been doing okay with my plan. Better with exercising than eating. And I am getting frustrated with my current plateau. Trying to get my house ready to put on the market is taking up a lot of time. I plan to keep taking it one day at a time and not get too frustrated. At least I haven't gained. Working all weekend throws me off a little off schedule with my exercise. I had hoped to get up early and exercise before work, but I really don't sleep well during the day-so it was a no go this afternoon. I think it would be better to work out when I get home. We will see how tomorrow goes.

I have not fallen off the face of the earth!

I had been trying to do a more daily update, but my busy schedule was making that tough. I haven't lost anymore weight, but haven't gained. I have been doing good with exercising, and having hit and miss days with my eating. But there have been some great successes. Like I am not eating after the boys go to bed. And I am truely making a better effort with my choices. And I am not allowing 1 misstep to affect the whole day/week. So, I feel really good about it. I have to work all weekend, but I still hope to do some sort of exercise on those days.

Stumble but no fall.

I did really well with exercise yesterday, but didn't input my eating into sparkpeople.com so I think I went over my calorie goals. I am not so calorie focused, but for me it is helpful to see a a good estimate of what my calorie intake is.

I didn't sleep well, so my exercise workout was slow moving today. Lucas had a field trip, so he had school from 1100-1400. And I took him to the gym after he was done. Forgetting the fact the daycare closes from 1400-1600 everyday. So, that was tricky. Lucas wasn't super thrilled with the idea of walking a mile. So, I could only get about a half mile in before he gave up. So, then I tried doing the stairmaster and have him standing by me while watching animal planet. That lasted about 10min before an employee said that he couldn't be over by the equipment. So, he sat on the bench for me to finish up my 15min. I was shy of my 30min goal. But it was better than nothing.

Tomorrow, my neighbor is coming to do some work around the house. I hope to be able to still get my workout in. But I am please with how I am doing with my food choices and portions.

A red letter day!

I am down 4lbs from Sunday, I know it is more water weight than anything. But we can take what we can get. Lucas was thrilled about going to the gym this morning, so hopefully that will get better. I did over 3 miles on the elliptical and that felt good. I am trying to work up to doing 5 miles during my cardio workouts. The boys are doing a great job of encouraging me. I don't focus on the weight with them. But we talk about mommy being healthy with what she eats and if she exercises. I don't want them to be weight focused when they grow up. I haven't eaten yet so I guess I better do that since I am starving!

A good day . . .

Well, the boys and I went to the gym and I did a pretty good job with my eating. The boys and I walked a mile. And then we went swimming. It wasn't has hard of a workout as I would like, but a start and since the boys didn't have school an option that was also fun for them. Well, they weren't thinking fun during the mile walk. But the game "Would you rather?" makes it go a little faster.

New plan for the new day. . .

Since, things were not working out so well. I scrapped the plan and am working on a new one. I have buddy to help hold me more accountable. I will be reporting what I eat every day and we are going to encourage each other with our choices/portion sizes. I got a good suggestion, to start thinking about what mood I am in when I am eating. So, I will be working on keeping track of that too. My exercise goal is to work out 30min at least 5x a week. So, that is the plan. I worked out on the wii fit yesterday and am pretty sore today. The boys don't have school tomorrow still, so I think the pool will be calling our names. Hopefully this new plan will get me permanently out of my rut. I think my goal is to focus on 5lbs at a time. But I haven't come up with a suitable reward, so any suggestions are welcome.

So far so good. . . .

I have been trying to go one day at a time. So, I don't focus on one hiccup and screw up the whole week. I have been to the gym 2x so far. And plan to go tomorrow and Friday. It helps that the boys have yoga 2 nights a week. Noah on Mondays and Eli/Lucas on Wednesday. Then I have to go to the gym and I work out with whoever is not in yoga. Eli/Lucas/myself walked a mile and a half on Monday. And today, Noah and I worked out on the cardio equipment. Well, Noah likes to jump machine to machine every 5min. ;) But then we did a few laps around the track. Usually when I work the night before, the next day are the days that are really hard to get motivated to workout. So, hopefully the boys will continue to go to yoga. I have been doing better about my portions, so hopefully the rest of the week keeps going well.

Okay, where was I?

I have been out of touch with lots of things lately and the bloggy world is one of them. And my diet/exercise routine has gone to pot. Or really lets be honest, it has become non-existent. I just can't seem to get all together. I have a hiccup in one part of my life and my whole week goes down in flames. And I just feel like a failure. I just can't get it together. I was doing so good before the holidays, and I just can't recover. I wish I could take things moment by moment instead of having one ruin the rest of the week. If I have a bad day, I get so discouraged that I find myself scrapping the whole week. And in a self-loathing cycle I want no part of. In church on Sunday, the pastor talked about how when you do a lot of comparing in your life- you are missing something in your life. And to try to fill that with God and you will be truely fulfilled. And it is so true, I have had some rough patches over the last few years, and I know I need to be more balanced spiritually. Then I would depend on food less during stressfull times, and have a more solid foundation. I hope to get back on my feet.

Stupid . . . stupid shoes!

So this weekend, I picked up some new gym shoes because they say you have to replace your shoes every ?!?!miles. I have had my current gym shoes for like 6-9months, so it was time. And there was a sale. Which makes it nice. And on Monday, the younger boys and I walked the track while my oldest did yoga. And I thought it would be a perfect time to break in the new shoes. I should put a disclaimer, I NEVER break in new shoes. I only work out for an hour or two at the gym, what's the big deal? 20-30 min of walking around the track with the boys should be easy. EASY except for the BLISTER that was forming! Stupid . . . stupid shoes! And then today, it was BEAUTIFUL outside, so the boys and I walked outside. Not the smartest idea. Well, if I had worn flip flops, (go ahead and roll your eyes mom. . . mom HATES flip flops) I wouldn't have made my blister worse. But I didn't (wear flip flops) and I did (make my blister) worse. So, hopefully it will not affect my workout tomorrow, and I REALLY wanted to hit the gym for a good SWEATY workout. . . . STUPID . . . stupid . . . shoes!

Over 3 miles and 90 flights of stairs

I have done really well working out this week. So far, I have worked out 4 days this week. Yesterday, I did over 3 miles on the elliptical in 40min, and today I did 30min on the stair machine and climbed over 90 flights of stairs. What helps me is that I listen to music. I used to watch/listen to the tvs. At Gold's Gym, they just have tvs and you could pick any channel and everyone watched/listened to the same channel. They nearly tv for nearly every cardio machine. So, I usually could watch whatever I wanted most of the time. I like the arc trainer and they had 1 tv per 2 arc trainer. At Praire life, they had a set of tvs tuned to a certain channel and you plugged your headphones in and picked your channel. Well, I didn't always like what was playing at the time or the machine I was working out to wasn't near a tv that I liked what was playing. So, I got a Zune and started to listen to music more and more. At my new gym, its like Praire Life. So, I just turn up my Zune and go as fast as the music goes. Here are some of the songs that I think have a nice fast past.

To get started
Ain't No Party by the Chipmunks
Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston
Circus by Britney Spears

And to turn up the pace
Closer by Ne-Yo
Disturbia by Rihanna

And to really push yourself
Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne
Hey Ya! by Outkast
When I grow up by Pussycat Dolls

To cool down
Heartless by Kanye West
Handlebars by The Flobots
Here I am by MercyMe

I just follow the rhythm of the song. Now one day I was picking up Lucas from child watch, and one of the employees that is usually works out in the fitness room- said "Hey do you usually work out on the elliptical?" And I usually do, so I nodded yes. She said "You are like dancing, you must listen to some good music." I didn't realize that others could tell that I was grooving with my music. But at least it works. So get your groove on!

Derailed . . .

I was doing really well at the beginning of the week, but with a sick kiddo and a VERY busy night of work, I have been derailed. I was THRILLED to get to work extra this week, since I have lost hours the last 2 weeks in a row. Sick kiddo= not getting a good nap before work. And it was SLAMMING busy at work, which meant EXHAUSTION set in yesterday. And this weekend their is girls night at my house so I have to get cleaning. Hopefully I will find my inspiration again next week and get off this plateau.

My Ally McBeal moment . . .

Okay, I know this goes back in time, but as I was going out the gym today- I remembered this from Ally McBeal. I have been in a funk lately not happy about things in general, and I realize that it is in my head. So, I need to get it out and replace it with the good in life. I wasn't a faithful fan of the show but did watch a lot of the episodes, and I remember that the biscuit was always trying to get Ally to have a theme song of her own. To make her more confident/happy etc. So lets join in and dance (not with a baby in the bathroom *weird*). We need to be okay with ourselves at ALL times. And not let outside things affect us.

Break down the mental walls!

I was watching an old episode of the Biggest loser, and they were talking about the emotional side of the weight loss. The contestant was struggling with being away from her boys and just emotionally heavy. And I can totally relate. Our lives can weigh just as heavily on us. We can allow things in our lives (ie getting our house ready to sell) to be a mental wall. The trainer told the contestant that we need those struggles so that we can see how strong we are (mentally), we can see that we can do it. And then in church today, all my boys wanted to go to church with be instead of their class, I was reminded that God has never left. Over the last few years, when I realize that this is not the life I wanted for me and my boys it weighs me down. But one of the songs that they sang today reminded me that God is still there with me and has GREATLY blessed me. Things might not be the way I pictured them, but God is still there. I needed to remember that, I think it will help me out of this rut of focusing to much on the big picture instead of taking it one day at a time.

No gym today!

I have bitten off more than I can chew and will not be going to the gym today. Instead, my excerise of choice will be decluttering and CLEANING my house. And I know this is excerise since it is listed on sparkpeople.com. My goal is to go the gym at least 4 times this week, and so far I have gone 2. So, I can go tomorrow and saturday and still be good. Because if I don't get this house cleaned I will go CRAZY. Gotta Go!

The goal for today . . .

For today, I have to organize some closets. I got the laundry/pantry started yesterday. I want to go to the gym, but will wait till the little man goes to school. I need to get back into recording my exercise/eating on Spark. I haven't plugged this website in awhile, and I love it. I think it is user friendly. And they have finally added wii fit under their cardio categories! Even though I love the site, my computer is slow and it is frustrating to try to add my foods/exercise.But when I was keeping track, it really helped me be aware of my daily intake. I think for me it helps to see that I have stayed in my range for intake. And I LOVE seeing how much over my calories burned I get. So, in order to make my goals I better get started! Have a great day!

NO pressure . . .

So, I was exhausted yesterday when I got off work and did not go to the gym. I planned on trying to get up early, but didn't sleep well. So, that was not an option. I ended up getting cancelled which creates financial stress that I won't go into that. So, I should have gone to the gym, or worked out on my parents wii when I was up there for dinner. So, I have decided to just not stress out and no to put added pressure on myself. I can still make my goal of 4x this week. I hope to work 2morro, otherwise we might need to be discussing that financial stress.

Sabatoge!

Well, having a sick kid and repairman at the house for the last 2 days has nix'd my workout plans. I blame the repairman and not the sick kid. But the stuff needed fixing so I shouldn't blame him either. I brought my clothes to go to the gym after work. We will see how my motivation is in the morning. Unfortunately it is not the thought that counts in this situation. I don't know why it has been so difficult to get back on this STUPID horse!

Rip our hearts out . . . .

Okay, I will not spoil the episode for my BFF's that have it on DVR and haven't watched yet, but ABC did a great job of ripping out our hearts and stomping on it again and again on Private Practice tonight. Dealing with multiple issues that on their own are tear jerking enough, but tonight was definitely a night to have the Kleenex box at your side. I did like the episode, you need a good cry every now and again. But I will be kissing my boys on their sleeping heads tonight, thanking/praying to the Big Man Upstairs that there are some decisions/experiences that I won't have to deal with.

Let's do better tomorrow . . .

Well, I haven't done as good today. I have a sick kiddo, so not sure if I will be able to go to the gym 2morro or friday as planned. So, I have to have extra motivation to do my home workout DVD's. I didn't plan on working out today, but I could have done better watching what I eat. But the day is not over, so hopefully I can refocus. Kids are wanting to finish our game of LIFE, so gotta go!

BFF gold card

I love this card! I found this on someone's blog and had to have it. And we all know our BFF doesn't stand for blogging friends forever, but who cares. LOVE IT!

Where is that horse and why can't I get on it?

I have been trying to get back on the "weightloss" horse and have been struggling. I decided today that I am going to remember that smaller simplier goals are easy to keep. In reality, it has been weeks since I have worked out regularly and we won't even begin to discuss the eating. I really am at the same weight that I started out for the holidays, so that is about the only good news. I have a goal of working out 3 days this week for 30min, and then 4 30min times next week, and so on. When I get back into working out 5-6 days, I will start increasing my time again. I am also going to try just cutting down portions. I have gotten into a bad habit of really not eating and then eating a large meal once or twice a day depending on my work schedule. I read an article that talked about not really focusing on 6 small meals because the bottom line is the # of calories consumed. But for me when I work, if I don't eat smaller more frequent meals, I end up over eating. So I have my two goals. And I will get on that horse!

Okay so it it not truely day one but . . .

I wanted to change the title and it is the 1st day this year that I am going to refocus on my goals. I had put things on hold when life was crazy before, during and a little after the holidays. So, today I am reminding myself that it is not a sprint. And I need to make the some small changes to get back on track. ie renew my gym membership. It expired right before Christmas and I didn't see the point of renewing until I was ready to jump back in to going to the gym. Well, it is on my to do list today. Along with a number of other things. I should be paying bills instead of updating this, but I am nearly finished. I need to remember to just focus on today. And end this post and get started.

My Bucket List

I watched The Bucket List yesterday and I thought it would be a good New Year post. Yes, this is the 2nd day of the New Year, but so what. It's my blog and I can post a day late.

My Bucket List
1. be the person God wants me to be
2. enjoy every moment I have with my kids/family/friends
3. be as healthy as I can
4. live long enough to watch my grandkids get married
5. do a random act of kindness at least once a week
6. Go to New York City- I have lots of places I would like to see, but this is one of the top
7.Go back to Paris and go to the top of the Eiffel Tower- when I was a kid, we went to Paris but the tower was under construction and we couldn't go to the very top. It was a bummer.
8. Go on a cruise
9. Be mostly debtfree (except house/car)
10.Live in the today, not the yesterdays or the tomorrows

That is a good start. In the movie Morgan Freeman's character tells Jack Nicholson's character about a belief that the Egyptians have about heaven. When they get to heaven they are asked 2 questions. Did you have joy in your life? And did you bring joy to others? At the end of each day I hope to answer yes to both questions.
Happy New Year.